Thoughts on Turning 34

I turned 34 this past Tuesday, and had a couple of thoughts on it. First off, I don’t feel like I’m in my mid-30s (ugh just saying that hurts me LOL), I still feel like I’m 29.

This year is going to have a few big changes in my life, adult ones to say the least. The last two years were not the best personally, at home and career wise. My father-in-law passed away last year and that was a tough year for our marriage. Quitting my job and starting up a business was also not so great initially for our marriage and finances, but has also made us stronger in the long run.

To say the least, I’ve thought about life a lot lately and how things can take a turn out of nowhere so why do I focus on petty shit? What should I be focusing more on? I’m not that young anymore, not 20 where I’m expected to make mistakes and bounce back no problem. I’m in my mid-30s, and just feel like I’m becoming an adult.

So I wanted to share a few thoughts I’ve had leading up to this month, what I want to improve on, what is going to happen in my life and what I wish I did instead when I was in my 20s.

Side note though, today, this moment, is the youngest that any of us will ever be (how is that for a weird thought!?)

1. Not necessarily a life lesson but a big decision for us. We are selling our apartment and looking for a larger one where we can grow into and possibly start a family in. Typing this out terrifies me yet also excites me. My mother is probably reading this hoping the latter happens sooner than later.

2. I want to cultivate my friendships and only work on those that matter to me most. Yes, I will always have those friendships where we can meet up every so often and catch up and I appreciate those ones, but I’m also at the age where I’m busy with life and can only make time for good friends. Those ones where you can talk for hours, who are there for you, who make you laugh and listen patiently to your whining and also build you up as a person. Those friendships.

Not saying I don’t want to let any new friends in, because I have been and they are terrific people and I’m excited to see where our friendships go, but just no room for shitty people is what I’m getting at.

3. I’m at the point where self-confidence with myself and my body is a priority. That I need to carve out that time for ME, to appreciate myself and where I can go in life. I had a couple of stressful years and need to make sure that going forward I don’t let myself go, to take time to do things I enjoy and not worry about how I look. I shouldn’t beat myself up about my weight, because it doesn’t need to be permanent.



4. I need to stop the comparison game. The world has changed since I was 20, where cell phones were still pretty basic (remember when you had to text someone, it cost like $3 for a sentence), there were no smartphones and this whole online world. No-one was an Instagrammer or Youtuber as a career, or generally sharing their whole life online. I can’t even imagine what my life would have looked like then if it was like it is now.

So it’s easy to get sucked in when everyone’s “perfect” lives are on Instagram, but in reality you don’t know if they have daily struggles or in financial ruin living their lifestyles. Just appreciate what you have. 

Instead, I need to focus myself and on my career. I’ve enrolled in a course this summer as my first step to help grow my business, to learn more of my space and think long term goals. I’ve swayed from this and need to update my goals and focus on making them happen.

5. I have no patience for fake, superficial people. LIKE no chill at all when it comes to them. I don’t have the capacity in my life for these people. I give zero fucks about pleasing everyone too, to be honest I’ve always been this way, but now I feel it’s even more so. To put it plainly, I have no time for these people, wasting precious minutes on them just kills me.

6. I feel no guilt about saying no to things. This is a big one to me, from blogging events to hanging with friends, I’ve learned it’s ok to say no. And not feel guilty that I said no so I could instead draw a bath and read a book for an hour with a glass of wine. That my plans I have instead are not as exciting but satisfying to me.

What have you changed in your life this year? Anything that helped change your mindset or any milestones?