My One Year Breastfeeding Journey

This is an emotional post to write, I didn’t even think I would make it a year breastfeeding Rowan. It was TOUGH, not an exaggeration on any part, definitely not easy but yet amazing.

When I first had Rowan my goal was to breastfeed her for at least 6 months to one year depending on my supply. It started off rough, you can read about the first bit in my original breastfeeding update, and since then we have had ups and downs, nursing strikes, balancing between nursing and pumping to just weaning herself off and myself exclusively pumping and supplementing with formula.

I just remember at the beginning she looked so happy and satisfied just lying there on my chest, skin-to-skin, drinking the milk I made for her. I was over the moon in love! The next couple of days we learned together which breastfeeding positions worked best for us and I learned when she was trying to show me that she was hungry. The many ways babies can communicate that they are hungry are just incredible. From smacking her lips, fuzzy movements, to having her special “I´m hungry mom!” cry.

I have always been the believer that fed is best and I stand by that. I wasn’t ashamed to have Rowan on formula and breastmilk at the end, my baby was being fed and happy. Breastfeeding can be a bumpy and difficult ride, but once you succeed, it is all completely worth it. Besides the fact that breastmilk itself is incredible (super nutritious, full of antibodies to protect your baby from all kinds of outside dangers, and it has never been recalled), it is also a special way to bond with your baby. A moment to sit down, hold them close to you, look them in their eyes and truly connect.

I had the inkling to take a photo of what I thought might be our last nursing session, I was right because the next morning she didn’t want to nurse. So now we hang out in mom’s lap while she pumps some mornings, and watches a cartoon.

While it was difficult for me to come to terms with the end of breastfeeding Rowan, I was so proud of myself for being able to stick it out for a solid 11-months as I know that some mamas don’t even have the opportunity to make it that far. I was grateful and happy that I was able to nourish her for as long as I could.

I knew it was coming to an end when she would only nurse in the morning and/or later in the evening or during the night for comfort. Then it slowly began to be only in the morning and then to nothing at all. I didn’t stress, I just felt sad the bonding experience was over, also you lose those love hormones and milk-making hormones, so you get a little sad at first, and then I am pumping anyways so I felt it wasn’t a sudden drop in mood. But she has been taking the bottle so easily since the beginning and wasn’t fussed about it at all. She’s fed, getting her formula, breastmilk, and also drinking water. Plus now eating three solid meals and snacks a day.

I think we put so much pressure on ourselves when it comes to breastfeeding, but we should make sure to remember that no matter how long you’re able to breastfeed, whether it be 1-2 years or not at all, we are always doing what we can and what our body allows us to do. Either way, as mamas we’re giving our babies the best nourishment we can, just do what’s best for you and your heart and soul!