The Hard Parts of Pregnancy No One Talks About

Let’s talk about the hard parts of pregnancy, the things that most women are scared to admit.

First off, there’s a lot of positive stages of pregnancy and it’s all very exciting. But there are so many other pieces that are annoying, frustrating, drive you mental, tough both emotionally and physically, straining on your relationship, and the list can go on.

I don’t want this to come off as if I’m complaining about my pregnancy. I had a pretty easy one thankfully and for the most part, have enjoyed it. I just want to be transparent and to share my experiences that I know many other women go through.

The physical changes

Stretch marks

When my breasts swelled up in that first month or so, stretch marks followed. I was embarrassed someone would see in the summer, and after months of using creams, they are only faintly there. 

They have also appeared on my hips, thighs, inner thighs but thankfully not my belly. I know most are temporary, but I also do know most will be there forever and won’t entirely fade away.

The weight gain

I started off on the heavier side, was going to the gym 3-4 times a week trying to lose weight to get to a healthier weight for my height and age. But then I got pregnant and fretted over gaining those extra pounds. So I stressed for months about what I ate, how much exercise I should get while also feeling like shit and exhausted. Refusing to weigh myself at my mid-wife for months, and now in my third trimester, I feel a little bit more relaxed about it. I didn’t gain an excessive amount thanks to my cravings for fruit and salads and smoothies instead of fast food or vast enormities of chips and snacks. Not saying I didn’t indulge once in a while, but we stuck to a more healthier diet at home.

Sleep deprivation

I’m not one that thrives on less than 7 hours of sleep… but I guess those days are over. The constant need to get up to pee throughout the night, the heartburn that keeps you up or nausea that won’t let you sleep. Nevermind for the first 7 months I couldn’t take a nap without feeling like absolute garbage. So I couldn’t even catch up during the day. And at 39 weeks I feel uncomfortable in bed, I just dread going to mine at night.

Swelling

My feet are now swollen at the end of the day and so is most of my body. Tough to get on shoes, even my socks leave marks on my feet. I turn to have a bath with Epson salts every night, which I love, soaking and catching up with my reality TV.

Sex

I had all these expectations we would have lots after the first semester, they tell you it will be the best. Well, that didn’t happen. Not like I didn’t want to, but most nights you’re tired, or sore or have that fucking heartburn. So I stressed about having sex before the baby is born just because I know it might be a while, and different and not the same.

Postpartum Care

I haven’t experienced this yet, but I’m prepared somewhat for all the not so great things about to happen. Wearing diapers, bleeding everywhere, burning while peeing, leaking out of my tits, dry nipples. Except that I see that no one talks about this as openly, everyone tends to sugarcoat how they are doing, and I mean, some may have it easier than others, but we all know that it occurs and it’s not easy while also adjusting to having a newborn to care for.

Acne

There has not been a pregnancy glow for me, in fact, I’m still breaking out like a 13-year-old teenager over here. With scarring left behind that I will try to fix later this year. Terrific, the one thing I was hoping for was the better skin they say you get. I got screwed on that one.

The Emotional Changes

Crying for no reason

Hormones are a bitch. I cry sometimes for no reason, I pick fights with Curtis that turn explosive, I’m moody and sometimes feel so lonely. Which I know might change since I’ll have a mini-me clung to me all day soon. But I’ve lost friends this pregnancy and some of my friends I think just forget to call me or include me in going out because they think I can’t.. which is bullshit. Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m housebound. I still want to go out, I like getting dressed and doing my makeup and hair and leaving my house to socialize. No-one told me that I would find out how shitty some people are.

Mental Changes

Preparing for birth

Not something I’m terribly worried about, I don’t have a set in stone birth plan and I know it can change. Also too late to turn back now, this baby is coming out somehow. It’s just the whole process and prepping to be draining both emotionally and physically. I also like having control over things, so knowing that might not be the case stresses me out a little.

Saying goodbye to the old life

Not being able to travel on a whim, go out for dinner or plan nights out with friends. I think I might selfish on this one, but I will miss all of that. Sure life might be nice in a different way, but definitely really different. You now have to worry about babysitters, traveling with kids or if the grandparents and siblings want to babysit while you try to go away for a weekend.

Relationships

Ours will change, it has changed I think since becoming pregnant with all the physical and emotional changes that have happened. But sleep deprivation, worrying about someone else besides just the two of you, money, intimacy or maybe lack of for a bit, ya that’s all going to be fun for any relationship. Can you catch my sarcasm?

Am I alone on these? Have you experienced these hard parts during your pregnancy? Let’s start a conversation in the comments. And if you are stressed about pregnancy, I also shared a few things you might not have known about.